Ryan's Review: The Peyton Manning "Nationwide" Theme.

As a sportswriter, I spend the majority of almost every Sunday doing the same thing.
I’m kicked back on my ratty old couch, legs crossed, reading glasses on, fingers aimlessly tapping keys on the laptop that sits across my lap, staring blankly at my television.
Well, not staring blankly, but most definitely in an unresponsive, trance-like state, as I try to process the information from several football games at once.
On the floor, an arms length away, is the remote. Whenever there’s a break in gameplay, be it an injury, a challenge, or a commercial break, I rapidly snatch the remote off of the floor and begin searching for another game to watch. I need to gather enough information to be informed, to find that one thing that everyone else is missing.
I’m very competitive and take my job very seriously.
However… Sometimes… Something awful happens.
The original game goes to break, I whip up the remote, I change the channel and…
Every game is on break.
I flip desperately for a few seconds, but ultimately, I sigh and set the remote down, defeated.
It’s during this time that I take a rare break, and am usually distracted by commercials.
I’ve always found it ironic that while Super Bowl commercials are among the best you see all year, the rest of football season is poisoned by the same, annoying, repetitive advertisements.
Between August, when the pre-season kicks off, and February, when the Super Bowl takes place, they rarely change the commercials. So sitting from 1 to 10:30 PM every Sunday for almost 20 weeks a year…
Man, they get repetitive.
And for me at least, none have gotten as repetitive as the Peyton Manning “Nationwide”commercial.
If you watch TV, I’m sure you’ve seen it.
It follows Peyton around his day, from practice to driving to making dinner at home, and everything he says… he says to the tune of the Nationwide song.
“Nothing beats that new car smell”
“Losing feeling in my toes.”
“Chicken Parm, you taste so good.”
And at first, sure, it was cute.
But now, I hear it in in my sleep.
I hear it when there are no TVs on near me!
“I hate this ad so darn much!”
For a while, it legitimately made me angry. I would actually change the channel to get away from the stupid commercial.
But then it dawned on me one day.
I'm a consumer.
I am Nationwide's target audience.
With all of the different insurance companies out there, they've got to do something to grab my attention.
Sure, the use of a celebrity like Peyton Manning usually helps, but everyone has celebrities in their commercials these days, and they don't always stick out. Even if they do, I can't always remember what the commercial was about!
But having Peyton Manning hum the "Nationwide is on your side" tune repeatedly really knocked that point home.
They're not an entertainment company, striving to gain views or amuse people, they're a business, trying to grab the attention of others. They're trying to make you think about their product.
And that's exactly what this commercial does.
It's almost subliminal, but at the end of the day, if I try to think about a commercial. That's the first one that comes to my mind.
And that's what an ad is supposed to do.
So I can't even be mad about it.
Or at least... I couldn't.
Until they made another one.

Ryan's Review: The Rich Eisen Show.

If you're a fan of the NFL, you probably know who Rich Eisen is.
He's been writing, reporting, hosting, and basically discussing sports for 25 years on newspapers, TV networks, ESPN, and most notably, the NFL Network. As his appearances on NFL Network have become less and less frequent, he's been spending more time on his pet project, the "Rich Eisen Show".

What is the Rich Eisen Show?The Rich Eisen Show is a three hour show on DirectTV's Channel 239 that plays from Noon to 3 PM every Monday through Friday.
What do they discuss on Eisen's show?
That's the best part... Anything.
Sure, the show has a NFL focus, but they often change subjects to address pop culture and frequently have celebrity guests like Tom Hanks and even Matt Damon on the show,
How can I listen?
As I mentioned earlier, you can catch Eisen's show on DirectTv every day between Monday and Friday, but there's another way to enjoy it. If you have an iPod, iPhone, or iAnything, you can download Eisen's show as a podcast and take it on the road with you.

It's a ton of fun to listen to, it's really easy to listen to, and as someone who is almost always on the road, it helps make the long trips fly by. Eisen's passion for the sport, as well as obvious charisma are well utilized and he has no problem bantering with guest or tackling the serious issues.
For any fan of football, pop culture, or even podcasts really, Eisen's show is a must-listen. I'm a bit of a podcast addict, and while many shows are inconsistent, Eisen's is almost always great, and I'm rarely disappointed.

Ryan's Review: Twitter- An acceptable alternative to the news?

In order to properly review "Twitter", I'm going to write this blog in less than 140 characters!
It'll be like a haiku!
A Ry-ku, if you will.
Obviously, I'm joking, because with that period, I officially crossed over to 141 characters.
Twitter! What is it? How can I best describe Twitter?
I want you to imagine a giant bulletin board, a pack of sticky notes, and a sharpie.
You can write whatever you want on that sticky note and then put it on the bulletin board.
Other people can post notes too, in fact, they can put a note next to yours and reply!
They can copy your note and share it with others or save it themselves for later!
That's what Twitter is.
It's a giant online bulletin board with millions and millions of little thoughts by people all around the world.
Some people use it to express emotions, some people use it to express opinions, hell, I use it to shamelessly promote my own work! (Hey! Blogger too! http://ryandanielsmith.hubpages.com... and Bleacher Report just saying)
If there's an opinion to be had, a theory to be thought, or... a parody account for a celebrity to be found, it can be found on twitter.
While many see Twitter as a vapid, pointless, mind-melting way for teenagers to complain about how their parents won't let them go out this weekend, I see it in a different light.
See, essentially every big news outlet, business, or even presidential candidate are on Twitter.
If you follow the right people... You can get all the news about anything you care to know about, summarized, and literally in the palm of your hand.
I'm monitoring the presidential race, but I also love my sports, but I also wanna know about concerts coming near me!
So if I follow all the big candidates, as well as multiple news outlets (Gotta get the extreme right and left to get the 50 shades of gray), Bleacher Report, and concert venues near me... It saves me a ton of time and energy!
I don't have to constantly google "concerts near me", I don't have to listen to a singular bias experience, and I don't have to travel the internet looking for multiple scores in different sports!
So... while the "One Directioners" and "Beliebers" may pollute the internet with their constant whining and terrifying hero worship... by simply following the right people, you can turn a negative into a massive positive.

Ryan's Reaction: A Perfect Getaway.

In order to really enjoy a movie, there are three areas that have to be covered.
One- The dialogue has to be well written.
Two- The plot has to be unpredictable.
Three- It has to have a talented cast.

David Twohy's (The Fugitive) "A Perfect Getaway" knocked all three categories out of the park.
"A Perfect Getaway" introduces us to Cliff (played by Steve Zahn) and Cydney Anderson (played by Milla Jovovich), a pair of newlyweds on their honeymoon in Hawaii. Of course, it wouldn't be an entertaining flick if we just watched Cliff and Cydney basking the bliss of their wedding, being nauseatingly smitten with each other and chilling by the pool. A Perfect Getaway takes the newlyweds deep into the wilderness on a hiking trail that leads to a remote beach. On the way, they encounter a group of terrified campers, who inform them that a couple had been murdered on a nearby island, and authorities fear the killers may have fled into the wilderness.
They encounter a couple other couples on the island, and as the story develops, everyone is a suspect.

It's a fun thriller with a killer twist that you'll never see coming! Timothy Olyphant turns in a very charming, very off-putting performance as "Niko", a veteran who talks a big game, and is "very hard to kill". They shot on location, which leads to some absolutely gorgeous visuals, and will make anyone question if being stuck on an island with murderers would be all that bad.

For fans of thrillers, pretty views, or just good movies, I can not recommend "A Perfect Getaway" enough. It'll leave you on the edge of your seat, and it's a movie you absolutely have to watch twice. 

Ryan's Reaction: "Heart Shaped Box" by Joe Hill.

I love books.
I love books more than life itself.
Leave me alone in a room with a good book, and you won't hear a peep for hours.
Recently, while perusing Barnes and Noble, I stumbled across a horror novel called "Heart Shaped Box" by Joe Hill.
For those who don't know, Hill wrote the book, "Horns", which recently had a mildly successful film adaptation starring Harry Po- I mean Daniel Radcliffe.
But that's not what drew me to Hill's book.
No, what drew me to Heart Shaped Box is that Joe Hill is the son of legendary horror author, Stephen King.
Yes, that Stephen King.
So, I was intrigued, and I took it home.
Heart Shaped Box follows the paranormal misadventures of Judas Coyne, a washed up rock star who's obsessed with death. His obsession started out as part of his band's gimmick, but now in his late fifties, he's become consumed by matters of the macabre. Things really go wrong for Coyne when he purchases a dead man's jacket...
A dead man's jacket that promises to be the home of a ghost.
As time goes on, Judas learns that not only is the jacket possessed by a vengeful spirit, but that it was no coincidence that it came to be in his possession.
Spooky stuff, seriously.

What can I say about this book?
I really loved it. Ten out of ten. Two thumbs way, way up.
This is the Catalina Wine-mixer of contemporary horror.
If this were to be made into a movie, I would definitely see it opening night...
Or maybe I wouldn't.
See, when I was reading this book, I couldn't help but think over and over that I hadn't been that spooked by a movie in years.
Let me tell you how spooked I was, I read the entire book in two sittings.
Why two, and not one?
Because half way through, I glanced up at the clock, saw that it was really late, and remembered that I didn't eat dinner.
Yeah. It was so good, I forgot to eat. 
So, I got up and walked to the kitchen... Where I became overwhelmingly aware that A. it was dark out and B. I was the only person in the house.
Every shadow was Craddock McDermott, the ghastly antagonist of the book.
Every shape in my peripheral vision was out to get me, and I was doomed. 
So I took a deep breath.
I told myself, I said, "Self. You wanted a scary book. You got one, now come back to reality".
And I did. I took a deep breath and made a sandwich.
Then I turned around, and staring me dead in the face, was a ghost dog.
A hell hound, enwreathed in flame, bright red eyes, blood dripping from its snout crept around the corner towards me.
I leapt ten feet in the air, hair standing on end, sandwich flying into the darkness..,
Of course, it wasn't really a hell hound.
It was actually the family's yellow lab, Mayzie.
But that was enough for me, I walked back into my room, popped in an old George Carlin stand-up DVD (You Are All Diseased, incidentally), and went to sleep.
I could rant and rave about the book all day. I could sit here and tell you how powerful Hill's imagery is, or how you learn to fall in love with each of his flawed characters, hell, I could even tell you how Hill's writing style not only emulates his fathers'... but maybe even surpasses it.
I could say all of those things...
But I really don't think that any of that gets the point that this is one ridiculously scary book across as much as saying that I, Ryan Smith, lover of all things that go "boo" in the night, lost sleep while I read this book.
If you want to have the pants scared off of you this Halloween this season... Pick up "Heart Shaped Box" by Joe Hill. You won't be disappointed.

...Available at BarnesAndNoble.com